Top Three Signs of Financial Abuse in Relationship

Date Published: Oct 12, 2024
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Many times, the first signs of dating violence and domestic abuse include financial abuse. This is when an abuser tries to control, use, or manage your finances. 

An abuser can end up taking your money, controlling the money you need to provide for the household, limiting your ability to earn, and creating debt in your name. Financial abuse is one of the strongest ways to retain a victim in an abusive relationship by making them fully dependent on the abuser economically.

A recent study from the Institute for Women’s Policy Research showed that nearly two-thirds of victims will stay with an abusive partner for economic reasons. Financial fears about how to support themselves and their children often keep survivors either with or returning to their abusers.

Key Takeaways

  • Financial abuse is a form of domestic abuse that can occur in up to 99% of abusive relationships.
  • Abusers may control access to money, create debt in their partner’s name, or interfere with their ability to earn income.
  • Financial abuse can make it difficult for victims to leave the relationship or achieve financial independence.
  • Recognizing the signs of financial abuse can be a step toward protecting oneself and seeking help.

What is Financial Abuse?

Financial abuse is a form of domestic abuse that controls the finances of the victim. It is one way the abusers can have power in a relationship. Abuse like this could include the actual taking of money, hiding financial info, or stopping someone from working.

Couple during conflict based on financial abuse

Financial Abuse Definition

Financial abuse, or what is also called economic abuse, is when one partner uses financial means to control or manipulate the other person. The money might be hidden, a person might be prevented from going to work, or they may be forced to borrow money. This type of abuse makes it hard to find safe housing and meet simple survival needs.

Signs of Financial Abuse in Marriage

Financial abuse in marriage or domestic relationships is a common and harmful form of domestic violence. Abusers use different tactics to control their victims’ money, making them financially dependent. It’s important to know the signs of financial abuse to help victims.

1. Controlling How All the Money Is Spent

Financial abusers often set out to disable their victim financially. Common indicators of such abuse include:

  • Limiting or controlling the victim’s access to bank accounts, credit cards, or other financial information.
  • Forcing the victim to account for every penny spent or giving no contribution to any household expense.
  • Personal fraud occurs when a perpetrator builds up the victim’s debt by getting credit cards or loans without the owner’s knowledge or permission.
  • Interfering with victim’s job or education in order to keep them without an independent source of income.
  • Withholding a victim’s paycheck or other forms of earnings.
  • Not paying child support or alimony with the intention of debilitating the victim during divorce.

These actions weaken the victim and make it difficult to escape. Financial abuse can cause big problems later in life, such as bad credit, lost savings, and even difficulties finding stable jobs and housing.

2. Interfering with Income Potential

Financial abuse can also include preventing a person from earning or advancing in their job as a form of financial abuse. It is particularly hard since it touches on one’s financial capabilities and well-being. Abusers apply different ways to cut off their victim’s incomes, which include:

  • Minimizing or criticizing the victim’s job/career choice.
  • Pressuring the victim to resign.
  • Telling the victim where they can or cannot work.
  • Harassment in the victim’s workplace.
  • Withholding keys to the car or refusing to babysit in order to prevent the victim from going to work.

Such activities may drain the victim’s money and resources. It, therefore, makes it very difficult for them to try to leave an abusive relationship.

3. Controlling Family Resources and Assets

In abusive relationships, abusers keep all the money and assets of the family in their possession. They leave the victim with no money or ways to access any type of financial resources.

The abuser may criticize all and any financial decisions of the victim. Some may also make big financial decisions themselves for the entire family without consulting the victim in those decisions.

Abuse cuts across all boundaries, and it can happen to anyone, irrespective of their background or social status. Many victims stay in abusive relationships because they do not have the financial capability to leave.

Financial abuse is one of the most common abuses globally and among all classes. Some communities are highly prone to financial abuse, and women are usually at a higher risk.

How to Deal with Financial Abuse

Financial abuse can result in very deep emotional and financial scarring. Just remember — you are not alone, and there is help.

If you’re in immediate danger, prioritize your safety and reach out to emergency services or a domestic violence hotline. Once you’re safe, focus on regaining control of your finances. Seek support from trusted friends, family, or a therapist.

tired office man with hands on his face

Document the signs of abuse and open an individual account in a bank as soon as possible. Seek the help of a personal finance or credit counselor who will help you rebuild your credit and get back on your financial feet. It might take time, but with proper support, you’re going to regain your independence and give yourself a better future.

Get Out from Under Financial Abuse and Take Back Control of Your Finances

Here are a few basic steps to take if you happen to find yourself (or someone you know) in a situation involving economic abuse. 

  1. First, call the bank and credit card companies to change account details. This will protect your finances.
  2. Also, obtain a free credit report to identify false accounts. 
  3. Save some money in a separate, secret account where your abuser will not look.
  4. Talking to trusted friends and family offers much-needed support. 
  5. Domestic violence resources are there to help, too.

Financial abuse is a serious issue, but there are ways you can stand up for yourself. There are resources to guide you through this tough time. By taking action and seeking help, you can regain your financial freedom.

FAQ

What Is It Called When One Partner Uses Money to Control or Coerce the Other Partner?

The simple answer is financial abuse. Financial abuse is a form of domestic abuse that comes in the form of controlling a victim’s money and financial freedom. An abuser uses this to gain power in a relationship or to coerce their victims into compliance.

What Is an Example of Financial Abuse?

Abusers can jeopardize the victim’s job or career. They may also control access to funds that their victim may have for things like buying food or other daily needs, or even childcare.

Abusers might also have control over where they can work or sabotage their job responsibilities. They may harass them in the workplace or hide their keys and car. These are all examples of financial abuse.

What Are Some Ways an Abuser Can Control Family Resources and Assets?

Abusers often control family finances or other resources. They might criticize every financial decision or make big financial choices without the victim’s say.

Some abusers limit access to bank accounts and investment information. They may also hide or take joint funds. Some even demand permission before spending money.


Senior Content Creator, Financial Analyst
James Robinson is a Financial Analyst with 12+ years of experience. Specializing in investment strategies, risk management, and financial planning, James helps clients make informed decisions.

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