How to Ask to Borrow Money Politely: 12 Tips

December 06, 202417 min read
Grayson Hale Writer
Table of content

Asking for money is uncomfortable, whether it is from a friend, relative, or even a bank. However, we are all in need of a helping hand sometimes. Here are some tips for asking for money politely and respectfully, while increasing your chances of getting a positive response.

Key Takeaways

  • Be upfront about why you need the money.
  • Choose the right time and place for the conversation.
  • Use polite and respectful language.
  • Offer a flexible repayment plan or another way to return the favor.
  • Be prepared for the possibility of rejection.
  • Consider alternatives if asking for money is not working.

Common Reasons People Need to Borrow Money

Life often throws us curveballs. Sometimes, we face expenses or financial challenges that require us to seek financial support.

Hand asking for money

Understanding the common reasons most people need to borrow money can help normalize the experience. Plus, it can provide context for your own situation. Here are some of the most frequent reasons people find themselves needing to borrow money.

Emergency Expenses

Unexpected life events like medical emergencies, auto repairs, or even home appliance replacements can strain our finances. According to a Bankrate survey, almost 30% of Americans don’t have money saved to cover a $1,000 emergency expense. These situations often demand borrowing money or using high-interest credit cards to bridge the gap and address the immediate financial need.

Debt Consolidation

Most people take out loans in order to repay higher interest debt, such as credit card charges or payday loans, with a lower interest rate. In this instance, you can learn how to ask a friend for money, or search for a debt consolidation loan. This approach can make payments easier and save money on interest rates in the long run. 

A survey from Investopedia found that debt consolidation was the most predominant reason people borrowed money for personal reasons. They were able to lower expenses and save money by consolidating debts into a single required payment.

Necessary Home Improvement Projects

Renovations, repairs, and upgrades can make our houses better, but they typically come at a hefty cost. Borrowing money can allow homeowners to fund these renovations. The improvements can raise the property’s value, bring the home up to code, or allow the homeowner to install necessary features, like ramps or a new roof.

Major Life Events

Events in your life such as a marriage or divorce, death of a loved one, or the birth of a child can add unexpected financial stress. Borrowing money can enable the person or family to fund these events without adding undue stress to the situation.

Education Expenses

Learning is the key to better jobs and better incomes. Unfortunately, tuition, books, and living expenses can quickly add up. Borrowing money, plus student and personal loans can provide an affordable way to finance your education.

Starting or Expanding a Business

Entrepreneurs need capital to start or expand a business. Small business loans, lines of credit, or personal loans from friends or family can help you raise the money you need to start or expand your business, purchase inventory, or buy equipment.

Unexpected Job Loss

Losing a job can also be very stressful financially, especially if you receive no or only a minimal amount of severance. Cash loans can help cover the rent or mortgage, food, and utilities needed while looking for a new job.

Just keep in mind that borrowing money is not uncommon. When we are aware of why people seek financial help, we will be better equipped to respond appropriately or ask for money politely.

Explain Why You Are Asking for Money

Being open about why you need money is always a good idea. This informs the person you’re asking to lend you money that you are serious about your need. It also helps them learn about you and make an informed choice.

For instance, if you want money for an emergency medical bill, say so. Show them proof if you can. This is a part of learning how to ask for money politely that many overlook. Proof can go a long way.

Be Clear and Honest About Your Request

If you’re asking for money, be upfront about how much you need and how much you’re willing to repay at specific intervals. This builds rapport with the person you want to borrow from and validates how much assistance is needed.

one person's hand borring money to the other

For example, if you need $1,000 to pay for an emergency car repair, you could say something like this: “I want to borrow $1,000 to pay for emergency car repairs. I can pay $200 a month for the next five months from [include a specific date you can begin repaying the loan].”

Choose the Right Time and Place

Part of learning how to ask someone for money is making sure you pick the right time and place to ask. Don’t ask for money when someone is stressed, distracted, or not feeling well. Rather, have a private conversation in which you can speak openly and frankly.

Asking your boss for a raise, for instance, while they’re on their way to a meeting won’t get you much attention. Instead, arrange a private appointment to discuss your compensation goals.

Use Polite and Respectful Language

Using polite and respectful language is one of the top tips when learning how to ask people for money. That lets the lender know you appreciate their time and attention. Don’t use pressured or domineering phrases, which could hurt your relationship and impact your ability to obtain the loan.

You don’t say, “I need $500 now” because that’s abrasive. Instead, you can say, “I was wondering if you could loan me $500. I know you may not be able to help, but I would really appreciate it if you could“.

The simple change of language shows that you appreciate the fact that they are listening and considering your request. The nicer you are, the more likely the lender is to consider helping if they have the means to do so.

Offer an Alternative: Flexible Repayment or Return of Favor

By providing a flexible repayment schedule or some other means of repaying your debt, you demonstrate that you care about meeting your financial obligation. It can help build the lender’s trust in you and show you are willing to do whatever it takes to repay the loan.

Try, for instance, to do chores, run errands, or take care of the house, their pets, or even their children in return for the loan. This shows that you appreciate the help and will go above and beyond to repay the loan as quickly as possible. 

Just make sure you understand the legal and tax implications that could come from such an arrangement. Consulting with a legal or tax professional can help you stay on the safer side.

Examples of Polite Money Requests

Seeking a loan online is where most people start. However, that is not always an option and there are also people who would rather ask in person. Here are some examples of polite money requests for different situations.

How to Borrow Money from a Friend Politely: “Hey [friend’s name], I’m stuck, and I need $200 for car repairs. I’ll be able to pay you back by [specific date]. Would you be able to help me?”

How to Ask for Money Politely from a Family Member: “Hello [family member’s name], I have an emergency medical bill, and I need to come up with $1,000. I can pay you back in monthly installments of $200 starting [give a specific date]. I know this isn’t an easy question, but I thank you for considering it.”

How to Ask to Borrow Money from a Financial Institution: “I am inquiring about a personal loan of $5,000 for repairs to my house. I have regular, steady income and a decent credit score. I am asking for [number] months with a favorable interest rate to pay back. Thank you for your time and consideration.”

Express Gratitude Regardless of the Outcome

Always say thank you to the lender, even if they don’t approve you. Thank them for their time, effort, and assistance. This keeps you in contact and opens the possibility of another request if another one is ever needed.

If they agree, don’t forget to honor your repayment plan and keep them informed about your status. This shows you take responsibility seriously and will work hard to repay the loan on time.

Be Prepared for Rejection

Keep in mind that not everyone is going to be able to lend you money, and that’s fine. People have their own financial goals and boundaries, and the fact that they may turn you down should not be taken personally. 

Keep yourself open to rejection and have contingency plans. That can mean searching for other lenders, exploring other sources of borrowing, or changing your financial plans to remain within your current budget. By having a contingency plan in place, you can handle the situation more effectively and with less stress.

Don’t Pressure the Lender

When you ask for money, don’t pressure the lender to make a decision or shame them into helping you. You can damage the relationship by coercing someone into doing something that they wouldn’t do on their own. 

Rather, ask the question very politely and respectfully. Then, give them time and space to consider your request.

Keep in mind that they are making the decision to lend you money. They deserve respect for their own autonomy, which is a critical part of a relationship.

Be Patient

It could take a while for the lender to consider your request and decide. Be patient and helpful in the process. 

They may have to do some soul searching to figure out what they are comfortable with, go back to their family to discuss the options, or just think about it for a bit. It is best not to rush them or ask for an immediate response. 

Rather, thank them for their time and answer any questions they may have. Patience can help establish confidence and let them know you respect their choice, no matter what it may be.

One helpful tip here may be to start looking into alternative income options while waiting. You can get a side gig, take on a part-time job, or search for a personal loan to help. That way, when you get your answer, you are already on to the next phase of the process. 

Consider Alternative Options

If you cannot borrow money from friends, family, or even a bank, don’t despair. There are some other options available to you. Consider these alternatives to get the money you need quickly.

  • Personal loans from reputable online lenders or credit unions are another viable option. These loans often come with predictable monthly payments and a structured repayment plan, making it easier to manage your finances. Many personal loan providers offer quick approvals so borrowers can access the funds they need without delay.
  • You can request to get funding from people on platforms such as GoFundMe. These platforms can help in some circumstances, like medical bills or needed home improvements.
  • Some organizations and government departments provide grants for particular reasons (like education, housing, or starting and expanding a small business). Explore grants that are available for your purpose and budget.
  • Government assistance programs may be able to help you with the money. This could be unemployment insurance, food assistance, and even money to help with utilities.
  • Online peer-to-peer lending services pair borrowers with individual investors to lend money. Such platforms can offer flexible terms and many have faster approval times compared to banks.
  • Mobile money borrowing apps such as Dave, Earnin, and Brigit give you microloans or cash advances to cover short-term costs. However, before you use such apps, make sure to know the fees associated with using them.

By exploring these alternative lending options, you might increase your chances of getting the financial help you need quickly.

Seek Professional Advice

Don’t hesitate to consult a financial professional or debt-management agency if you’re finding it hard to learn how to ask for money politely, get out of debt, or are in financial trouble. These experts can help guide and support you through your money issues. 

They can help create a budget for you, assist in consolidating debt, identify resources you have, and put together a plan to get financial stability. This is the first step towards getting control over your finances and forming a more secure future.

Important Considerations When Borrowing Money

While people may be willing to loan money out today, if their situation changes tomorrow, repayment could turn into a dispute that may only be resolved with legal protections in place. That is why writing up the loan agreement and having it notarized can help make the process run smoothly for both parties.

Remember, it’s not always easy to ask for money. However, with these tips you can boost your odds of success and keep your relationships stable.

FAQs

Who Can I Ask for Money? 

You can ask friends, relatives, or others for money if your situation is dire enough. They may include banks, payday loan companies, or even online loan companies that can help you search for a personal loan lender. 

Does Credit Matter When Asking for Money from Someone I Know? 

In most instances, your credit is not going to be a factor when asking for money from someone you know. However, some friends or family members may ask about your credit history. 

If your credit is less than perfect and you cannot borrow from a friend, you may need to look into a personal loan for bad credit instead. 

How Do I Ask for Money Politely When I’m Nervous?

The best thing to learn about how to ask for money politely is to remember that everyone experiences financial difficulties at times. We all understand what it’s like to need help. Be honest, sincere, and patient in your requests, while always seeking ways to help yourself at the same time.

Grayson Hale Chief Editor

Grayson Hale is a Chief Editor with over five years of experience in financial writing. He specializes in investment strategies, risk management, and financial planning. Grayson frequently contributes to financial publications and speaks at industry conferences.

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